Xmen religions!
by Kalaki
Summary: If you want a religion for your x-men obsession but can't be bothered to come up with one yourself just read mine!! Magneto up
1. Kurtism

Helo! I am trying to be original so I have (with the help of my good friend the oddish) done a few chapters for the people who are a tad bit obsessed with the x-men (all three of 'em!!!!)  
  
I do not own the x-men  
  
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Kurtism  
  
(Meaning: the belief that Mr Kurt Wagner is a divine god and must be worshipped accordingly)  
  
Rules for membership  
  
To become a Kurtian (pun alert!!!) you cannot be diabetic, as the religion requires a tremendous intake of sugar. Vegetarians and vegans are also unable to take part in Kurtism as the divine one's favourite meal is bacon.  
  
Food  
  
Kurtains must eat at least three chocolate bars a day but may work off the calories by doing what ever they wish. The more food you eat the closer you will become to the blue god. There are competitions everyday between Kurtains at the dinner table. This can include 'How-much-food-can-you-fit- in-your-mouth?' and speed eating contests. The winners ascend higher into the Kurtism society. The only flavour yoghurt you allowed to eat is toffee and banana's must be eaten regularly.  
  
Symbols and salutes  
  
When greeting another Kurtian you must use the symbol for peace and tranquillity that looks a lot like the star trek salute but means something totally different. While doing this you can either say 'May our blue god live forever' or 'Kurt rules, neener neener neener' whichever one moves you. If there are lots of non-Kurtains around (and because we don't want our religion polluted by non believers) a German greeting may be used such as "Gutan Tag!"  
  
Language  
  
German is preferred to be used as often as possible as it is a noble language but it is not essential. Swearing is strictly forbidden (when was the last time you heard an X-man swear?) instead you may say "Oh Bamf!" or "For Kurt's sake!". Reciting the most important (and funniest) lines that Kurt has in X-men evo is done on a daily basis. These lines include:  
  
"As you say in America: Neener neener neener!"  
  
"Chicks dig the fuzzy man!"  
  
"Bumpity-bupity SPLAT!"  
  
Many others can be used and if you ever see them on TV you simply HAVE to recite along with them (I'm not sure why, it just happens!)  
  
Clothing  
  
Blue MUST be worn at all times. Americans must wear it to school or at least blue accessories and British children may only go to schools with blue school uniform. Dying your hair blue is allowed but not mandatory.  
  
Exercise  
  
Hanging upside down is seen as good meditation time and as the blood rushes to your head, you can use the brief moments before you faint to contemplate how Nightcrawler feels as he does this from his tail.  
  
Acrobatics are used very often in Kurtian exercise as well as gymnastics. Performances are regular and even though you do not have to be good at acrobatics it is considered to be helpful towards gaining full blessing by the blue fuzzy one.  
  
Kurt hands  
  
You have to pretend that you have only three fingers ALL THE TIME! Splitting your fingers except to write or type is blasphemy and can be punished by having elf ears glued onto your face or being spray painted blue.  
  
For beginners to Kurtism, cello tape may be used to get them used to the feeling of having three fingers but be warned this hurts A LOT if you forcefully pull it off. Soak the cello tape first if you do not wish to wax your fingers if you get what I mean!  
  
Hymn and prayer  
  
Sung to the tune of Oh come let us adore him: pretty much the same but the chorus goes  
  
Oh let us see his tail  
  
Oh let us see his tail  
  
OH LET US SEE HIS TAIL!!!  
  
OHHHHHH! Night-crawler!  
  
Prayers end with the words "X-men" instead of Amen.  
  
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Which one do you want next? ^_- 


	2. Scottorama

Scott-o-rama  
  
(Meaning: The belief that Scott Summers is a God, this religion is based mainly on hero worship)  
  
Clothing  
  
Red sunglasses MUST BE WORN AT ALL TIMES! You are given added credit if you wear tinted red contacts. Clothing doesn't have to be worn in any certain way but you can dress up exactly like Scott Summers if you wish to annoy friends, peers, family members etc. Scottans have also been known to have a strange longing for spandex!!!  
  
Attitude  
  
Scottans (followers of Scott-o-rama) are well known for being overly sensible and terribly serious. This is because they are following the idea that Scott was a straightforward guy even in childhood. They wish to follow this example. Strangely when a Scottan develops a crush on someone (especially a close friend) they will start going out with someone completely different (occasionally the friend of the person they fancy!). This behaviour has so far been unexplainable but the courtship rituals off Scottans is being watched with increasing interest so hopefully we may have an answer soon enough  
  
Why is Scott a God?  
  
Scott is a God because at a very young age he requested to be sent to earth to guide and save people when he saw what a mess the Earth was in. He and his brother descended (or rather were pushed) out of heaven. Both with a parachute. Scott, in an act of true heroism, pulled his brothers parachute open before he did his own. He then spent the next few months being told by his parents (who were also Gods) that when he reached 17 he'd be the leader of a group called the x-men and it was this group that would save the world. He is our savour  
  
Interesting facts  
  
Scott was unable to be killed in any way. Evan if it appeared that he was dead he would turn up later alive and well (This can be caused by reading too many comics or simply being in too many!!).  
  
Exercise  
  
Scottans train at least 10 hours a day and are incredibly competitive. They usually are quiet calm and mild mannered but like their God they can explode when it comes to competitive sports. Fair play is supreme to Scottans (When was the last time you saw an X-men cheat?).  
  
Strange things they do  
  
Scottans have a strange tendency to scream if anyone tries to take off their glasses. A very popular phrase is:  
  
"DON'T!! I MIGHT KILL YOU!" This is a very weird habit even if you are unfortunate enough to also know a Kurtain who always yell:  
  
"WATCH MY TAIL!!" Even worse is if you have the terrible luck to also know a Xavierist who are well know for yelling at odd moments:  
  
"I AM PSYCHIC! BWA HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" (I might do them next but I'm not sure)  
  
Language  
  
Scottans have the very sad problem that they have to fit at least two cheesy superhero lines in before lunch and it's just depressing thinking about how many they can manage in a day! They say it gets them in the mood for saving people but we say it gets us in the mood for hitting them. Another problem is that they also say lines that should only belong in very VERY old, cheap soap operas (**Cough** Adrift **Cough**).  
  
Possessions  
  
Scottans simply have to have a car, the flashier the better. It must be some sort of ego thing because that is the only thing that Scottans splurge their money on. If anything happens to their car because of others then their vengeance is unbelievable.  
  
You have been warned: Never mess with a Scottans car or you will feel their wrath. (And these guys and girls have a whole lotta' wrath!)  
  
Other stuff  
  
Scottans all hate orphanages because of the trauma their God went through in one. They also have a problem with eye doctors (I wonder why? ^o^). They have a complete split personality: side one is a semi-normal teenager who goes around muttering that he has an eye condition (I can see no other reason why his teachers would let him wear his sunglasses in class). Scottans are big on families and the females tend to cry a lot at sloppy family films. The guys NEVER cry, it's just not allowed. They also have a bizarre tendency to not show any emotions at all. (Don't ask me)  
  
Hymns  
  
This is the most popular hymn of all Scottans and must be learnt off by heart and recited as often as possible.  
  
(Sung to the tune of 'Bright eyes' from water ship down)  
  
Red eyes  
  
Burning like lasers  
  
Red eyes  
  
I may open my eyes  
  
How can I when if I did you'd all get a terrible surprise.  
  
Red eyes  
  
Prayer  
  
With all x-men related religions, when saying a traditional prayer instead of ending it with amen the x-men followers say X-men. (I'm going to have an x-men version of the Lord's Prayer soon!!)  
  
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like it?  
  
Message to sarah: I'm sorry! I know you hate Scott!  
  
Who next? (I might do Kitty next actually hmmmmmmm) 


	3. Toddology

Because of requests (and threats of being attacked by mutated frog minions (?)) I am now doing Todd tolanski  
  
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Toddology  
  
(Meaning: the few weirdoes who actually believe that toad is a god)  
  
WHY??  
  
There are lots of different reasons as to why toddologists (supporters of Toddology) believe that Todd tolanski is a god. The most popular is that he's the only member of the brotherhood who has funny lines. Plus it can't seriously be possible that a guy can be born with so many things wrong with his life and character. Another possibility is that even though in x-men evolution Todd is kind of the 'dud' character (can I just say at this point that Todd is actually one of my favourite characters so please don't flame me) most people were amazed top see that he's a wonder toad in x-men the movie. (Watch it and I promise you will be amazed). Actually that movie is too good to be under one title...  
  
The movie  
  
Heh heh. Okay to all those who have seen the x-men movie will know that Todd does some very cool things he wouldn't be able to dream of doing in x- men evo:  
  
He kicks Jean's butt  
  
He kicks STORMS butt!!!! (I know!)  
  
He kills about three people on screen but it is implied he does this to more.  
  
He makes Scott blast the roof off a train station  
  
He (in my opinion) has the best line in the whole film: "Don't you people ever die?!"  
  
In the movie Todd seems to morph into a good fighter that the x-men all seem nervous about!! There are arguments from ati-Toads that they must have been two different characters purely for one reason:  
  
They have different accents. The Todd in X-men the movie is British, apparently the one in x-men evolution in polish. *Bursts into tears* OH!! The only person in x-men who was English and they changed him!! Why do you mock me oh lord?! WHY!?!  
  
Language  
  
It is essential for a toddologist to put the word 'Yo' into a sentence at least twice. This is almost as annoying as when Katzens (supporters of kittyism) say like and totally all the time. Toddologists also have to scream like a girl quite often (this isn't so hard if you actually are a girl) as that is what the real Todd does when he's in trouble. Toddologists also have a strange tendency to say strange lines when trying to impress people.  
  
Exercise  
  
As most of the brotherhood don't really train, or at least we don't see them train, Toddologists don't have to do any exercise at all! It is preferred that they are decent at gymnastics, a popular form of travel is frog hops. Toddologists tend to sit the same way toads do crouching slightly with their knees high in the air on either side. Serious note: Do NOT do this for long periods of time as it will seriously damage your back and you'll have to walk around like a hunchback for the rest of your lives.  
  
Diet  
  
Thankfully flies are not part of the toddologists balanced diet. There are some obsessive one who do practise this art and have done things to make their tongues longer (which occasionally resulted in the inability to speak!). It I forbidden for toddologists to eat frogs legs or any kind of amphibian at all. Aside from that Toddology allows almost any kind of food to be eaten by the hallowed Toad followers.  
  
Appearance  
  
Toddologists usually do something to their teeth to die them slightly green and others rub seaweed all over their skin to turn it green as well. If you separate your fingers you'll see that you actually have slightly webbed fingers. The more webbed your fingers are the more likely it is you have been chosen by the Great Toad in the sky (Or in Bayville, whatever moves you) to join his army of black hearted, green skinned soldiers of the night. (dun dun duuuuun!)  
  
Beliefs  
  
As an argument against the fact that Toad seems to always get beaten up by the x-men (and even his own team-mates!) is that he is only PRETENDING to be a useless clump of scales. Many Toddologists believe that someday in X- men evolution Todd will show his true colours and will pound each one of the x-men within an inch of their lives! They also believe that someday they will invent a deodorant that will someday stop him from smelling (in the word of Kurt Wagner) 'like unwashed lederhosen'.  
  
Character  
  
Like their god, toddologists have a strong thirst to prove themselves but, because they are following their Gods example, they usually fail (**Cough** The cauldron part one**cough**). Toddologists are usually seemingly tough but there are people who believe that underneath they are all poets and artists (yeah right!!).  
  
Fears  
  
Toddologists have a great fear of lightning bolts and when ever asked if they know what happen to a toad when it's hit by one they run away screaming. This behaviour is unexplainable and very strange (lol)  
  
Money  
  
Toddologists have very few morals and many have been caught pick pocketing just for cash. They are attracted to money in any currency like files (No pun intended). Because it is not certain what Toad would spend any money he stole (if any) on most toddologists give their money to Amphibian zoos. Toddologists are not allowed to keep toads as pets as this is considered cruel and disrespectful to their God. Toads must roam wild and free to stop the fly population from reaching critical (who says that toads are useless!!)  
  
Hyms  
  
I was unable to come up with a hymn that had the tune of a normal song but I did it with one of my own that I have written  
  
You really smell  
  
You really smell  
  
You really smell  
  
Is you skin Green?!  
  
Or did you sit in a bin?  
  
(Repeat)  
  
(For those of you who want to know what the notation is for this its:  
  
C E flat C C  
  
C E flat CC  
  
C E flat G G  
  
C E flat C B flat C  
  
C E flat C B flat C  
  
Wow! I can hear the boos from here! ;-)  
  
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NEXT!! 


	4. Loganinity

Loganinity  
  
(Meaning: The belief Logan (No second name) is a God and must be worshipped)  
  
Attitude  
  
Mini Logan's (or ML's) are well known for being distant and unapproachable. They have a very quick temper and should only be socialized with at extreme caution. Though they may seem cruel and very unsocial (which they can be) ML's are renowned for their loyalty and you have been warned, NEVER BULLY SOMEONE WHO IS A FRIEND OF AN ML!  
  
Voice  
  
Logan does NOT have a high voice so some very strange followers forcefully break their voice! The idea is to end up with a voice that sounds somewhere between Barry white and.....Someone else with a kinda' low voice. The main reason for wanting to do this is because it's very hard to growl threateningly when you sound like a ten year old at 16.  
  
Odd habits  
  
ML's stick knives between their fingers and run around threatening to stab people. They also continuously sniff the air for no reason at all. They also occasionally put their hands on their heads and mutter "Damn Amnesia" (this behaviour is unexplainable). They go through the periodic table and complain that they can't find adimantium (sorry if that's spelt wrong). ML's have a weird obsession with spandex but they are always uncertain about whether they prefer orange or yellow, this choice is very personal to each ML and takes part in a ceremony which is called the 'Original or Evolution' choice.  
  
Noticeable features  
  
If you are male and old enough you have to have a stubble (I guess very obsessed female followers could give themselves an extra dose of male hormones but that's a step to far if you ask me). Another thing is that Logan's nose looks a little as if it's been broken then set back. WOAH!! STOP THAT!! I WASN'T IMPLYING YOU BREAK YOUR OWN NOSE!! If you've seen the movie you'll notice that Logan's hair is done like two horns. (Wrong wording but I couldn't think of anything batter). Only do this if you have a lot of free time because this takes AGES!  
  
Language  
  
ML's call everyone 'Bub'; this doesn't matter if they are a boy or a girl. Young and innocent girls are sometimes referred to as 'Half pint'. ML's, when ever they speak with Kurtains call them 'Elves'. Lastly, people who are older, wiser and very kind are called 'chuck'  
  
Diet  
  
ML's eat a LOT of sausages, purely because they taste good. The more sausages you eat the better. Bananas must be eaten regularly and it is preferred that you eat German sausages. The only flavour yoghurt you are allowed to eat is raspberry (just because). Strong coffee is the most regular drink of Logan followers (aside from obviously hard drink but even though we saw Logan in a bar at the end of 'on angels wings' he wasn't drinking)  
  
Mood swings and nightmares  
  
ML's have very violent mood swings, which often result in things being smashed or broken. You can identify when an ML is having a mood swing because they start howling and yelling. When they get a small headache then usually it's safest to stay at least 10 feet away from them. Never bug an ML when they're having a nightmare and NEVER try to wake them as they are at their most violent after they have their confusing dreams. It is uncertain why ML's have terrible nightmares but it may just be because they've watched X-men too many times or could it be that they're telepathically linked to their great and wonderful God?  
  
What not to do  
  
These are the questions you shouldn't ask ML's:  
  
Have you got your memory back yet?  
  
Why were you named after such a weird animal?  
  
So if I shot you, how long would it take to heal?  
  
No way! You're called Logan? Isn't one of the characters of the baby sitters club called that?"  
  
How much gel do you put on your hair to make it look like that?  
  
Ewww! What's so cool about the X-men?!  
  
The last one has actually resulted in lost limbs so do not use it.  
  
Hymns  
  
I didn't have enough time to put new words to a song but I'll try to and update this chapter soon.  
  
As with all x-men religions all prayers are ended with the words X-men instead of amen.  
  
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Note: Very sorry but I can't do Remy. Why I hear you ask. Because, my dear friends, I get crappy BBC which hasn't even started series 3!! I mean, I still haven't seen Hex factor or Walk on the wild side!! :'-( 


	5. magnuseous

Magnuseous (good luck pronouncing that)  
  
Clothing: Magnets (followers of magnuseous) compulsively wear black and red, this has caused conflicts between Magnets and Kurtains because these are both their holy colours (aside from blue). Magnets also have a thing about helmets that cover most of their face (apparently they think it makes them look mysterious but most normal people don't think it works).  
  
Appearance: Magnets must dye their hair white but considering how often they wear helmets no one would probably notice if they didn't bother. Magnets can be of any age but around 30 - 40 is the most popular age at the moment.  
  
Phrases: They call every other person that they enjoy talking to (be it man or woman) 'Brother'. They babble on for ages about how God is a teacher, a bringer of life bla bla bla. If you ever EVER ask them ANYTHING they say 'Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer' Picture this: You're sitting at the breakfast table and ask you're Dad if he'd like some syrup on his pancakes. He turns to you and says patronisingly 'Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?' Trust me, it's infuriating.  
  
Fears: It is a commonly known fact that Magnets hate everyone who is bald or uses a wheelchair. If they ever happen to meet someone who has BOTH these qualities then they attack them by yelling "I'VE GOT YOU NOW CHARLES!!!" Magnets also have a very clear fear of anything plastic. This fear is also shared with aluminium, nickel and cobalt.  
  
Diet: Anything that has a lot of iron or any other metal in it. Meat is consumed a lot. Some magnets are addicted to Zinc tablets.  
  
Off spring: All female children of magnets must be sent to mental asylums. This will cause them to become murderous and very angry. This way when they rejoin their fathers organisation they will hurt his enemies easily. It is probably best to move after you do this, the girls can get very mad at you (See Scarlaton). Magnets also use their sons for their own evil purposes, male children of magnets seem to always develop an obsession with talking at an impossible speed to understand. This is commonly known as Pietro syndrome. Twins are very popular.  
  
Mental state: Magnets are never very balanced in a mental state. They tend to mutter things under their breath about hating humanity and that everyone will pay. Magnets also obsess about world domination but for some reason they never end up in the asylums they send their daughters to (yeah, that's fair). And although they expect other people to give their lives to the cause a magnet will NEVER put themselves in any kind of danger.  
  
Hobbies: There are only two hobbies that magnets take part in that we know of. They are Chess and world domination. They play chess 24-7 in the hope of beating the bald people in wheelchairs who are evil. World domination is their top priority but they never seem to manage it. If World domination was a competitive sport I think the score at the moment would stand at  
  
Xavier: 2869364 Magneto: 0  
  
History: Many magnets tell lies about their past, trying to make people believe that they were rescued from a concentration camp in world war two. They say this even if they are children (therefore they wouldn't have been alive). They also claim that in truth they are about 80 or 70 years old and when asked why they look so much younger they just start muttering things about 'elves' and 'rebirth'. This behaviour in unexplainable.  
  
Relationships: Magnets cannot get married or even have a long term relationship. Basically they just have the kids and leave with them. Magnets do appear to hate the idea of a partner all though they do like to make comrades of the opposite sex who share their views on world domination.  
  
The Magneto hymn  
  
(Sung to the tune of 'In the dark of the night' from Anastasia)  
I was once the most mystical man in all Bayville  
  
(Oh ah oh)  
  
When Xavier betrayed me he made a mistake  
  
(Oh Ah Oh)  
  
My vengeance made each of them pay  
  
But one little girl got away  
  
Little Kitty beware magnetos awaaaaaaaay!  
  
Chorus  
  
In the dark of the night Magneto will crush her  
  
(Crush her)  
  
In the dark of the night she will be doooooooomed  
  
(OoooOOooo)  
  
Soon she will cry  
  
When she looks in my eye  
  
In the dark of the night she'll be through!  
  
(OooooOOOoooooOOO)  
  
I can feel that my youth is slowly retuning  
  
Thank God that elf let me revive  
  
As the pieces fall into place  
  
She will get hit in the face  
  
My metal and plates!  
  
She'll dieeeeeeee!!  
  
Repeat chorus x 2  
  
Come the brotherhood  
  
Rise for your master  
  
Let your evil shine  
  
(In the dark in the dark)  
  
Find her, now yes, search ever faster  
  
(In the dark of the night, in the dark of the night, in the dark of the night)  
  
SHE'LL BE MIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!! 


	6. Kittyation

Yay! I've written a new one! Can't even remember when I last updated this weirdo fic!!  
  
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Kittyation  
  
(Sorry, I couldn't come up with a decent name)  
  
Followers of this religion are called Kitzens. They believe that Kathryn *Kitty* Pride was a god sent to this world to be a protector and server under Professor Charles Xavier.  
  
Appearance - Hair must ALWAYS be worn up, it is preferred that if you are not a brunette that you should dye your hair to the correct tone. Males are supposed to grow there hair to the right length. Both male and female followers wear make up and nail varnish. This is why Kittyation has a massive gay following.  
  
Diet - STRICTLY NO MEAT!! The Great Kitty Pryde was a vegetarian and all Kitzens must follow her example. Vegans are also accepted into this religion. Health food must be consumed by the barrelful and you must preach to others about how terribly unhealthy the foods they eat are.  
  
Habits - Kitzens never stop (trying) to cook. If you already are a good cook then you cannot join Kittyation because Kitty Prydes food was lethal. This means that when a group of Kitzens hold a dinner party there is a good chance of a guest getting food poisoning. It is blasphemy to cook anything with meat in it, even if it's for other people. If possible, Soya, tofu or any other product of this type must be used in every single culinary attempt. Another strange thing that Kitzens do is that they constantly walk into things on purpose! Be it a door, wall, table, desk etc they will try to walk through it. This is extremely funny if the Kitzen sleepwalks because they simply keep on trying to go through the solid object as if THEY can phase through it!!  
  
Beliefs - Kitzens are well known for their absolute refusal to believe that they may not be right about everything. They have been seen complaining for hours on end that there are not vegetarian options in certain restaurants. Kitzens are very opinionated and have helped many people by holding protests or simply whinging for hours on end (unlike the rest of us ^_^)  
  
Language - The word 'like' must be used at least three times in every sentence because it is a sacred word. Many Kitzens count how many times Kitty can say 'Like' or 'Totally' in one episode (Would someone please bother to do that and tell me how many times she actually does that please ^_^). The sacred word can often be paired with 'totally' for maximum effect (by effect I mean really, REALLY annoying everyone you know)  
  
Signs - When meeting another kitzen they put a fist against a flat hand to symbolise how Kitty's hand always goes through solid objects. The followers themselves of course can't do the same but they try as often as they can (see strange behaviour). A usual greeting that accompanies this gesture is usually 'Like, HI!' or 'LikeWOW!!' or 'Like, HELLO THERE!!!' Etc, etc  
  
Dress - Pink is very popular as is white. Shadow cat's colours (blue and black) are usually worn as night wear. Kitzens usually spend many hours brushing their hair or doing their make up (this includes the male followers). During the day kitzens usually wear three-quarter length trousers. Wearing black or anything considered Gothic can be punishable by making a follower eat MacDonald's Beef burgers *shudder*. Tattoos are forbidden as is sports gear as it was the only class Kitty Pryde did not do well in.  
  
Fears - Black is a blasphemic colour within Kittyation. To wear it means that you will be punished through wearing last seasons fashion accessories ('Gypsy earrings?? But that was last august!! Please have mercy!!'). Goths are terrifying to Kitzens but Kitzens often force themselves to share rooms with them. This is a form of self discipline and helps the followers understand what their great leader had to go through at the institute.  
  
Other problems. - Kitzens are often confused by the fact that their Goddess looks so different in all the different Films/TV shows/comics that feature her. This is mostly outlined by the two X-men movies. In it Kitty was played by different actresses and only in the first did she get a line. Kitzens also argue that people were lead to believe that their God is dumb because she only got a line because she was stupid enough to nearly leave without her bag! In X2 she didn't get a line at all and hundreds of followers were swept into confusion when a different actress phased through her bed! Many petitions have been started up with the basic message: MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!  
  
Mates - Kitzens are usually attracted to cruel men, preferably ones who try to kill them. In Kitzen society this is a popular indication that you have a crush on someone. Grungy men are very popular possibly because the followers believe that, had she pursued Lance further, she could have changed him into a clone of Scott. Kitzens HATE practical jokers and as a matter of principle will only take them as permanent friends but not lovers. (no matter how hard they try to impress them)  
  
Hymns - This song is easily the most important in Kittyation, it is fabled to be written by Kathryn Pryde herself. However the fact that you sing it to the tune of 'Miss united states' has caused some people to think that Kitty may have been vain (Especially the line about Jean) however Kitzens will never believe this because Kitty was perfect in every way. The people who think she's vain are probably just jealous anyway because they were too ugly to get into the religion! : p  
  
Queen of the X-men (Sung to the tune of 'Miss United states' on the Miss Congeniality soundtrack)  
  
From sea to shining sea  
  
Like Lady Liberty  
  
She phases, through everything she sees  
  
This girl is never mean, she's sexier than Jean!  
  
She is a walking dream, She's queen of the X-gene!  
  
Backing singers - (She's never ever mean, she's, like, sexier than Jean!)  
  
(She is a walking dream, She's, like, queen of the X-gene)  
  
(Hold your X up high! Hold your X up high!)  
  
(Raise it to the sky! Hold your X up high!)  
  
*Repeat this until A) You bore everyone to death or B) they threaten to kill you*  
  
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This took me ages and it's not my best by a long shot but I like it. 


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